Do you really want to make a difference? It’s easy! You don’t have to start a non-profit, give up your day job and travel to Africa to live among the poor or sell all your worldly possessions and donate the proceeds to a charity. All you have to do is tell someone he is good at something.

One simple thing that you can do every day to transform a life is notice that someone is good at something and tell that person what you noticed.

I read a great article by author Brad Meltzer. Brad told the story that the teacher who changed his life did it by telling him he was good at writing. His 9 grade English teacher, Ms. Sheila Spicer noticed that he wrote well. She said “You can write.” A decade later he published his first novel and returned to give her a copy. Ms. Spicer began to cry. She shared that she had been considering early retirement because she felt she was not having enough impact on her students.

I too had a teacher who acknowledged me. My beloved spiritual mentor, Elias DeMohan, told me I could sense and perceive qualities in others deeply. I had been afraid that I was not sensitive to others. But his acknowledgement set me on a path of developing extremely successful training programs that are focused on seeing and saying what people are doing right and well.

Because of Elias, I have learned to facilitate transformation in people through acknowledging their natural abilities. All of my programs are built on the principle of seeing the good in others. Had Elias not mirrored the good for me, I might never have come to this simple but brilliant key to training.

When people are acknowledged for who they are and what they do well, it sets them free. Really it is amazing! Saying a person is good at something causes him to accept his own ability and frees him up to use, develop and share his talent.

One of my own students from the 1990’s sent me a letter a few weeks ago to share that he had just spoken at Harvard Law School on the power of storytelling in the courtroom. Tyrone Moncriffe wrote, “Dear Sandra, on July 27 2012, I gave a presentation at Harvard law school. I spoke about the power of storytelling in trials. As I was being introduced, my mind went on a brief journey. I remembered you seeing things in me that I could not see. I remembered the exercises, the grounding , the acting, the colors, and the breathing. But most importantly, I remembered the faith you had in all of us. You believed we could be authentic in our presentations. You have affected our lives in ways that you can never imagine ; because you had the guts to chase your dreams , you have helped us realize our own.”

When I read his letter, I too cried! It reminded me that I do make a difference. I also realized that we don’t usually know how much impact we have, unless someone tells us.

Seems like the easiest thing in the world to tell someone they are good at something, yet we don’t often do so. Instead we envy that person. I have learned that if I acknowledge someone rather than envy them, then I start to own the quality I admire. It is a kind of spiritual law that we can tap. Acknowledge another and own the quality.

So, amazingly, the second gift of telling someone he is good at something is that it comes back to you! Then it makes a difference for you as well.

So, how about committing to tell one person he is good at something every day? All you have to do is pay attention to people, notice what they are good at and say, “Hey, you are really good at __!”

BRAVO Tyrone! Your gift is extraordinary! Your letter touches my heart and
makes it all worth while! Thanks so much for sharing the words and photo. It
is thrilling!

Warmly,
Sandra Zimmer
Author It's your Time to Shine: How to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking,
Develop Authentic Presence and Speak from Your Heart



Self-Expression Center
www.self-expression.com
www.transformstagefright.com
11221 Richmond Avenue, Suite C-104
Houston, TX 77082
281-293-7070


Your time to shine! Classes and coaching to develop comfort and confidence
when you present, perform or communicate. We don't lock you up in
technique; we free you up to be natural and genuine!

The other day I was stuck in the Harris County Criminal (In)justice Center a bit longer than anticipated. There was a trial going on in the 232nd - a young man was charged with murdering another young man. The young man was convicted. The punishment hearing happened to be going on the day I was in there.

The young man was represented by my esteemed colleague, Tyrone Moncriffe. I've seen Mr. Moncriffe give a couple of presentations at CLE seminars I've attended over the years. I hadn't, however, had the opportunity to watch him in person. What I saw amazed me.

His closing argument was eloquent. He stood before the jury and told them that he felt he had let his client down. He told the jury that he wasn't mad at them for their verdict - he was mad at himself. He also told the jury that he was afraid of them.

He pointed out that his client had no criminal history and that no one who took the witness stand had anything bad to say about him. He told the jury that what happened that night was out of character and he asked them to keep that in mind when they retired to the jury room.

He told the jury that they didn't know his client. They only saw him a few hours a day sitting at counsel table. He told them that he sat beside his client. He had met with his client's family and friends. He pointed out that once the jurors had rendered their decision that they could walk away from the case and forget all about it. But, the one thing that would stay with them was their decision.

It was a very powerful close. He never once raised his voice. He expressed his sorrow for the victim's family.

But, more than that, he expressed the feelings that all of us in the defense bar experience. There are few things harder than standing beside your client and hearing a jury declare him guilty.

Mr. Moncriffe's client was sentenced to 10 years in prison.

That's ten years of asking yourself if there was anything else you could have done.

UPDATE:

I spoke with Mr. Moncriffe this morning about his close and he told me the last offer from the prosecutor was 45 years. I would consider that a good outcome.

Posted by Paul B. Kennedy at 

Link to my Super Lawyers page